His Perfect Timing

Something I failed to mention in the update posts is our desire and struggle to start a family. It all started in August of 2011. I remember this day and specific moment so clearly. George and I were going for a walk around our neighborhood and we started talking about having a baby. It had been a topic of conversation for a few months, but nothing definite was ever decided. "Why don't you just stop taking birth control, and we'll see what happens, " George suggested. I had been apprehensive and almost afraid of the thought of having a baby, but this time it felt like the right time. "I agree," I said. And we decided that I would not start my birth control again that month. Anyone that knows me knows that I am a planner. By October, I couldn't just "see what happens" anymore. If we were trying to get pregnant, we were going all in. George was more than on board, and I started buying ovulation predictor kits and tracking my cycle. I knew I'd be pregnant soon.
 
November, December, and then 2012 rolled around and nothing. Then school was ending, and I decided to call my ob/gyn. I went in for blood work and everything checked out fine. Before starting clomid (and because of my endometriosis), she wanted me to have a hysterosalpingogram (HSG), which is an x-ray test that looks at the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes and checks for blockages. Before starting the process of getting pregnant, I had no idea how time sensitive everything was. I couldn't have the test that month because we had missed the window of my cycle. We discussed doing the test in October and starting clomid in November, since I didn't want to have a summer baby and miss the beginning of school starting. In October I had the not-so-fun HSG (take Advil before ladies, and maybe have a glass of wine!), and then started 50mg of clomid in November. Between June and November, we were still tracking my cycle and pinpointing the days I was ovulating. It made no sense to me why I wasn't pregnant. I had blood work done every month to confirm that I was indeed ovulating. It was puzzling and frustrating! After a month of 50mg of clomid, we bumped my dosage up to 100mg. That month I didn't ovulate and I heard some tough words from the nurse, "I am not sure what else we can do for you. It may be time to see a specialist." The tears flowed heavily, and I decided it was time to switch ob/gyns. I had wanted to do this eventually since mine was about 30 minutes away. We made an appointment with Dr. Karen Benz, and she added progesterone to my 100mg clomid cocktail. After another unsuccessful month, we added estrogen to the mix and finally in April 2012 (after 17 months) after upping my clomid dosage to 150 mg and having me on estrogen and progesterone, she suggested that I see a reproductive endocrinologist. No one could tell me why we weren't getting pregnant. Every test I took was fine. George had been tested multiple times and was fine. There was no logical explanation as to why we weren't pregnant. I prayed and pleaded and begged for a baby. I began to wonder if I'd ever be able to give George a biological child. Infertility is not fun, folks!

We saw Dr. Kauffman at Fort Worth Fertility at end of April. We saw him for our consult on a Thursday, and left for our wine country trip on Friday. Talk about perfect timing! Dr. Kauffman wanted to try two months of inter uterine insemination (IUI) with clomid, estrogen, progesterone plus daily injections that I would give myself in my stomach. If that didn't work, we would move on to invitro fertilization (IVF). Game on! We were so ready. We began at the beginning of May. I went in for a baseline ultrasound and then started the baby-making cocktail. I went in almost daily to check the growth and progress of my eggs. On day 12, we had 2 great eggs and 2 more potentially great eggs, so we scheduled my insemination for the next day. I went home, ate dinner, gave myself a big shot in the stomach and went to bed. The next afternoon, Dr. K performed the insemination and now we would have to wait two weeks. It was the end of the school year, which thankfully kept my mind off of everything. I still dreamed about our February 2014 baby and thought about holidays, maternity leave and they nursery. I went in for my blood work on May 31st and eagerly waited for good news. Unfortunately, my phone call wasn't good news. "I am sorry but you are not pregnant," the nurse told me. I sobbed uncontrollably and called George. I felt so done with it all -- done with the fertility drugs, planning, shots, empty feeling. I told George that I didn't want to do another IUI. I was ready to move on. Time heals most wounds and after a weekend at home and just simply time, I felt better. Dr. Kauffman called over the weekend and said he felt like we should give IUI one more shot. It was a tenth of the cost of IVF, so we agreed. I never thought it would work. We began preparing for the financial burden that was IVF and figuring our how we would pay for it. I started up the daily medicines and shots again and ultrasounds. We finally had the insemination on June 17th. We had two good eggs, and another one possibly. During the two week wait, we went on vacation and I got lots of chores done. I didn't feel pregnant at all.

Against my better judgement on Friday, June 28th, I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was almost the weekend and I wanted to have a glass of wine if I wasn't pregnant. My blood test was scheduled for Monday. George was in the shower when I took the test and I didn't even tell him I was taking it. After a few minutes, I took a look and saw a very faint second line! I took it to him in the shower and he confirmed --- it was a line! I felt so cautiously optimistic. I couldn't let myself get excited. I took another test on Saturday morning and the line was darker and then a digital test on Saturday afternoon and it said, "PREGNANT!" I couldn't believe that our dream of starting a family was finally
becoming a reality!

On Monday, I went in for blood work and got the good news about 4:00p.m. I was indeed pregnant. My beta was 145, which the nurse said was not unusually high as to suggest multiples. I had to go back in 48 hours later to make sure the numbers were doubling and then a week later. I prayed more in those 10 days than I probably ever have. Each time, I got good news. My numbers were going up and I was pregnant! I would go in for an ultrasound on July 19th to hear the heartbeats. We decided we would tell our families at that time. I could not believe that my dream was coming true! We were having a baby! George put it best: "I have never been more happy in my life!" This was indeed done in His perfect timing and as we do with all of our blessings, we give so much thanks to Him.